God

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FACTORY RESET

Lessons in life will be taught, until they are learned.

Recently, my phone reset back to factory settings; I lost all my apps, my contacts, my photos, videos, my notes I made on my notepad, everything. The phone was completely emptied of anything that has ever represented me or anything to show who I am, what I hold dear and what I love and enjoy.
Everything was gone.

Naturally, I was upset. How could years of data simply disappear without warning? I thought to myself, why does this have to happen to me?

Then it hit me.

You see, my phone and everything that was ever on it, was basically a part of me. I always have my phone in my hands. I have it on my side table next to our bed. I have it in hand when I go anywhere and everywhere. I am always scrolling on social media and my head is always down, looking at this small screen in my hand.
My phone was my Bible.

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It was during the hours that my phone was formatted and it was off; I had time to think and God was speaking to me – He basically told me in no uncertain terms, there will be no other gods before Him.

My phone was the one thing that I could not live without and if you read my previous blog post, you’d know that I have been struggling spiritually – I haven’t been able to read my Bible, to speak to God or just simply experience the Holy Spirit.

And now my phone basically crashes and I come to the realisation that I have been prioritising everything else above Jesus. I have been worshipping my phone, social media and everything else that comes with having this device.

The reason that I have been struggling in my relationship with God is simply because I have turned my back on Him and I have put other things before Him.

You might be reading this and rolling your eyes and thinking, ‘not another life lesson’ – that’s probably what I would do if I didn’t believe that God uses every opportunity and every experience to show Himself.  This is what I know to be true and I know that anything that takes the place of Jesus in your life, is another form of worship- whether its your phone, your friends, your job or career. If God doesn’t take priority in your life, if He is not at the center of everything, that message will be made clear to you in some way, shape or form.

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I have been making the mistake of picking up my phone in the morning, before I even open up my Bible. I like and laugh at videos on social media, before I even write or share something from the Bible. I read other people’s stories but don’t share my own testimony and truth be told, I have so much to share.

A very powerful message that I heard in church today, that reminded me about my purpose on this earth as a child of God, is to feed people with faith, hope and love and to be witness of God’s work in my life.

This is what I am doing by writing and sharing this post. I am testifying about what God has done for me over the past day and I hope to instill in you a sense of faith that God will show up for you exactly when you need it and hope that it doesn’t matter how far you fall, Jesus is always there. He is exactly where you left him, that as a child of God, He will always be there to guide you, to correct you and to lead you onto the right path. And the knowledge, that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from the love of God.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So here I am now, back to the start. Back to my own factory settings, hoping to work on filling my life with more of God and less of me.

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A TRANSPARENT TESTIMONY

God works in mysterious ways.
I have been going through a season where I’ve been experiencing a spiritual drought; I’ve been struggling to pray. I haven’t read my Bible, I haven’t been speaking to God, and I haven’t been able to listen to worship music – I’ve been struggling and feeling so guilty. It’s been going on for weeks, but some light came through the darkness today.
I went to church this morning, even though, at some point, I told myself I didn’t want to go.
Remember how I said I haven’t been able to pray? Well, today, I prayed, and I cried.
But let me start at our praise and worship rehearsal earlier in the week, on Thursday. I wasn’t myself; I couldn’t worship sincerely, and my heart, soul, and spirit weren’t there. Then, my husband asked me to pray at the rehearsal, which I did, but I wasn’t entirely in it. Now to Sunday, today—I was asked to pray at our pre-service prayer, and then I was asked to pray again when the actual service started to open.
I almost found it comical, but I knew God was working. He put me in a public place where I had to pray for others and made me realize it wasn’t about me. The people who came to the service this morning needed a touch from Jesus, myself included, and the Lord gave me that by putting me in a position where I had to pray for others.
It all brought me to tears throughout the entire Sunday service. At some point, I was on my knees, simply giving thanks to God for working in my life, bringing me back to His throne, and helping me find my way back to Him.
I am not 100% okay yet, but the walls are definitely coming down. For now, for today, this is my testimony about what God did in my life today, and I am truly grateful.


PS: I have also been battling with my writing and my creativity. This is the first blog post I’ve shared in weeks, and I credit it all to Jesus. Another thing I am grateful for.

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YOU DID YOUR BEST

I don’t want to pretend that I am not exhausted or that my body doesn’t feel like it is giving in. I’ve had a very long year but, at the same time, a very short year. There have been some disappointments, heartaches, and frustrating moments throughout this year, and it has all come to a head and I don’t want to undermine the fact that it has been overwhelming. I don’t want to fake excitement going into the new year; I don’t want to pretend that I have it all figured out. I am exhausted and I don’t have a solid plan yet. I simply don’t have the energy.
Many of us are struggling with the same thing. Still, we have created this culture of having to be so up and ready for the new year. To be excited, make resolutions and goals for the new year, the next phase of our lives, but I’m sure that it is okay to go into the new year in the current phase or state that you’re in.
If you are tired, sad, exhausted, frustrated, or feeling a myriad of emotions, there is genuinely no pressure for you to get rid of it before the clock strikes 12 on January 1st. There is no pressure. God will still be there on the other side. He will still be there to help you get through it. Whether that is now or next year, it’s okay to go into the new year feeling like you do.

SUNSET, OCEAN, PORTUGAL

Just as you enter the new year, give it all to God and leave it all in His hands. He requires us to not lean on our understanding or rushing to plan our lives to a T and write down goals. Don’t get me wrong, I am not discouraging planning your life or your year. If you don’t achieve or haven’t completed all you set out to do, it’s okay.

Don’t carry that disappointment of unachieved goals so heavily that you crucify yourself and feel completely hopeless. There is still hope for those who have reached our limits and are running on empty.
I have rested, spent a few days with family, lazed around, laughed, and played games, but I’m still tired. Not all of my exhaustion suddenly disappeared, and not all of my ill feelings have been dealt with, which is fine.
I hope you can enter the new year, knowing that whatever you feel, it is okay to feel that way. There is no pressure to do things immediately and hurriedly. There is a quote I love that says;

“I may not know what my future holds but I do know who holds my future”
You’ve done your best; now let God do the rest.

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NOTHING IS A COINCIDENCE

If you believe that you are working and walking in the will of God and if you believe that everything you are doing and experiencing is part of a bigger God-ordained plan for your life, then you must know that nothing is by chance.
Everything you’re doing and experiencing; the ladders you are climbing and the opportunities that are coming your way and every door that you walk through, every meeting you attend, every person you meet, every place where you find yourself, it is all part of God’s will and purpose for your life.
Nothing is a coincidence. Nothing is by chance. Everything is anointed and should be treated as such.
If that is truly what you believe and what you know, then you should take nothing for granted.
You should set your mind on things above. You should treat every meeting, every person you come in contact with, every opportunity, and every level of access you acquire as if it is coming directly from above. Directly from God.
Because again, if you’re tapped into the vision God has given you and the messages from God, it most likely will come to pass and you need to make sure that you are always prepared.
For this reason, you always need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. You always need to remember what the root core of everything that you are doing, is. You need to be in the Spirit at all times.
If you haven’t finished your mission, why are you asleep? Why are you wasting your own time?
Why are you not meditating on the Word or in the Spirit?
Why are you playing games?
Have you done what God has called you to do?
Are you really done?
Never mind what everyone else is doing; keep to your business unless God tells you to involve another.
Pray over everything.
Consult God about everything.
We are not merely here to live and then die.
We have a purpose and a mission and it’s our responsibility to pursue that.

Originally published in 2019 on my Medium platform

self aware, self reflection

BECOMING SELF-AWARE THROUGH THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

I woke up the other morning, irritated and grumpy because of a small insignificant matter and I ended up taking it out on my family. I wasn’t in control of my emotions, I let it run wild and ruined what could have been a perfectly good morning. It led me to pray and ask God to help me control these feelings I get of annoyance, irritability and anger, especially when its for no good reason. The Holy Spirit prompted me to read Galatians 5, it speaks on the fruits of the Spirit and what our lives should produce when we live by the Spirit.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, humility and self-control”

That self-control one is tricky for me, especially when it comes to my feelings and reactions – I’m a very emotional person and I can be reactive at times. I get irritated when things don’t happen when and how they are supposed to happen and now and then I can have an angry outburst. I know it’s not pretty but if we lack self-awareness, we’ll never be able to deal with the deeper issues of the problem. When I read Galatians 5 vs 19, it said the following:

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear; sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties and other sins…”

For me, hostility, quarreling and outbursts of anger are what I battle with. Especially at home and in the mornings when we have to get done for the day and things are not happening as fast or as smoothly as I want it to happen. But I’ve realised and maybe you can relate if this is something you also struggle with, that getting angry or irritated won’t solve the problem or make circumstances more ideal. In fact, it might make them worse. It will sow division in your home and everybody will end up being in a bad mood. It certainly is not the way to start or end a day.

So that has been my prayer lately. That God helps me to stay in control of my emotions and teaches me patience or teaches me how to be patient when I experience less than ideal circumstances and that I don’t just get angry or frustrated at anything or anyone over small matters.

Another verse in Galatians which is sort if the core for me is verse 13. It reads as follows;

“Don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead use your freedom to serve one anther in love, for the whole law can be summed up in this one command ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’

Galatians 5 is full of wisdom and basically teaches us that we should let the Holy Spirit lead us, lead our lives, actions and thoughts. It speaks of how the sinful nature only wants to do evil;

“And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions”

Every morning when you open your eyes, you are entering the battlefield of your mind, in fact, the battle has already started while you were sleeping. When you wake up, that’s when you choose on which side you are fighting on. Are you on the side of your sinful nature or are you on the side of the Holy Spirit?

Every day is a battle and it’s easier to give in to sin than it is to surrender all we know to God but then we need to ask ourselves, what do we want more and what is worth sacrificing?

Galatians 5 vs 24 ends the passage with the following:

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to His cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited or provoke one another or be jealous of one another”

So this will be my guide and my prayer and I hope it can be yours as well, with whatever sinful nature you are struggling with. I pray that our lives will be filled and reflect the fruits of the Spirit and that we don’t give in to our sinful actions at the expense of our loved ones.

A little self-awareness and introspection can go a long way. Below is a video of a poem I wrote about the battles we face in our minds.

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BEING INTENTIONAL

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE INTENTIONAL?

When I searched the meaning of the word ‘intentional,’ I found the following definition;
‘done on purpose’ or ‘deliberate.’
The word ‘purpose’ means ‘the reason for doing something.’
So overall, the word intentional means there is a specific reason you do what you do. There is a particular outcome you desire, something you want to see or achieve through your actions, thoughts, and words daily.
I’ve been thinking of my intentions lately, why I do what I do every day, even the simple or mundane things. Why do I clean our home, do laundry, binge-watch series, or eat certain things? Then I realised that some of the everyday things I do sometimes don’t have any purpose. Sometimes, I do it because it’s my excuse not to do what I’m supposed to be doing, for example, watching a series when I should be working on my novel. Those things are not intentional; they are easy. I do it because I am programmed to do it through years of doing the same thing every day.
When I write or share something on my blog or podcast, I don’t just do it because I am programmed to do it. I do it to inspire and motivate others or to share a relatable part of my life so that others might feel seen or heard and less alone. That is the purpose, the intention of my writing.

QUESTIONS ABOUT MY INTENTIONS

Then I asked myself how many things I do that are intentional or have a purpose. The answer was few, which made me sad and a little bit angry at myself.
I want to go through life with a purpose and a clear direction for my life. I want my life to mean something. I want my work to mean something. At the end of my life, I want to know that I have fulfilled what God put me here to do. I want to be more intentional about my thoughts, actions, and words, whether written or spoken. I want it to bring life to others.

HOW TO BE MORE INTENTIONAL

The question then came to me: What can I do or what should I do if I want to be more intentional? It’s certainly not easy because being intentional requires doing the work. It takes renewing your mind and changing old habits into new habits. However, it is not impossible.
For one, whenever you experience a negative thought creeping into your mind, you stop before it overtakes you and switch to the more upbeat, life-giving alternative. Give your thoughts purpose. When you want to watch a third consecutive episode of the current series you’re watching, stop and ask yourself, is there a reason for this? Will this help me fulfill my purpose? What can I do instead?
Write, create art, call a friend or family member and check in, go for a walk and clear your mind, pray, or read. Simple things like that can awaken a part of you that you thought had died long ago.
I think of the story of Ruth and Naomi in the Bible. When Ruth went out to work in the fields, Naomi realised that the land belonged to Boaz. Later in the story, Naomi instructs Ruth to go to the threshing floor so that she may find a husband and a new home. There was purpose in Naomi’s actions, and there was intention. Eventually, that filtered down through the rest of history.

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YOU STILL HAVE A PURPOSE

I’d like to believe that when we wake in the morning, God still has a purpose for our lives, which means we have no choice but to be intentional about who we are and what we do. God himself was intentional when He created us. Knowing that should give us enthusiasm for the day ahead and excitement to fulfill that purpose. It should make us curious about what life offers so that when we lay our heads down at night, exhausted but fulfilled, we know we have completed what God has called us to do.
Every single day we have on this earth is a gift. We don’t get the same day twice, and time moves swiftly.
Let’s be intentional about how we use the time we have.

Poem, Jesus, love, joy

JESUS, MY SAVIOUR

Broken, beaten, and bruised,
Alienated, ashamed, and forgotten,
I found myself on my knees,
No beauty, no prettiness,
Crushed by fear too heavy to bear.

Then you reached out your hand,
Your garment, my lifeline,
Thirsty, you quenched me with living waters,
Bruised, you touched me, and I was healed.

Hopeless and heartbroken,
You opened the floodgates,
Washing me clean,
Because of you, Jesus, I am saved.

Faithful God,
God of Mercy,
Jehovah Jireh, my provider.
God of grace, righteousness, joy, and love

You are the centre of my joy,
My life, my anchor, my compass,
Your presence is holy,
I cry out to you in the heavenly language,
I praise you with all that I am,
I give you all that I have.

In my troubled season,
When it seems I’m surrounded,
Jesus, you make a way,
God’s promises prevail, and He sets me free.

The world may enslave me,
But Jesus Christ is my Saviour!

Sunrise, morning, reflections

MORNING REFLECTIONS – DISTRACTIONS VS PROGRESS

I was thinking about distractions this morning. We woke up to start our day, and there were elements of distractions that cut into our routine. I woke up less than excited; I couldn’t find my shoes when it was time for our walk, my husband couldn’t find his book when it was reading time, and so forth. I felt disorganized and disorientated, and it irritated me a little.
The morning routine was less perfect than the day before, but we still completed it.
So many times, we strive for perfection when we should take note of the progress. We think or believe things should be exactly right, and when it doesn’t happen the way we imagined it, we become discouraged, and most times, we tend to give up when we are so close to the finish line.
It’s all about progress – small acts you do every day that make you better, stronger, and wiser than you were the day before.
When we pray, we tell God exactly what we want, to the last detail, and forget that He can and will probably provide us with something more significant, despite our ignorance.


Isaiah, 55 vs. 8-9, says:
‘Indeed, my plans are not like your plans, and my deeds are not like your deeds, for just as the sky is higher than the earth, so my deeds and my plans are superior to your plans.’

God is the only one who is perfect.
I once told my husband that sometimes our reaction to life’s events, like tragedy or a break in routine, or a small or medium-sized distraction, could completely throw us off our axes. Its as if we suddenly don’t know where we are, who we are, or what we’re supposed to do, and then we curl up in a ball and feel sorry for ourselves because things didn’t go as we planned instead of rolling with the waves and adjusting our sails to the winds.
Stop looking for perfect. There is no such thing.
Don’t take your eyes off Jesus; don’t let the winds of change or distraction throw you off your purpose. Let it make you stronger. Let us build our character and learn to be patient with ourselves. Change and growth is a continuous process,
I’d like to leave you with one of my favorite scriptures


Jeremiah 29 vs. 11
‘For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.’

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MORNING REFLECTIONS -TIME

My husband and I started our new morning routine. It opened my eyes as well as my mind. The power and presence of God and the Holy Spirit were palpable for me this morning.
The morning walk felt good. The moon was still fully out, shining brightly in the sky. My nose was cold. I felt peace overcome me. I am grateful that I can live this life. Thankful that I have another opportunity to change and grow. There are so many things I want to achieve for myself and my family. Places I want to go, people I want to meet, and lives I want to change. I’m re-reading the 5AM Club by Robin Sharma, and there’s a line where the entrepreneur, a woman, decides to take steps in changing her life;

‘She promised herself she’d keep following this process instead of retreating. Her former way of existing no longer served her. It was time for a change.’

One of our greatest mistakes is thinking we have time, but we don’t. Every day without us living the life we’re meant to and fulfilling our purpose on this earth is wasted, and we don’t get that time back. I’m realizing now that our purpose is not something we do one day and then it’s done. Our purpose is small acts that we carry out every single day, consistently, passionately, and intentionally.

Some day we will look at our lives and wonder where all the time went and what we did with all the time we had. Some day is today.
Right now. You can’t fit in all you were supposed to do in the past in the time you have now. The time you have left is meant for other tasks and new pursuits.
The Word of God says there is a time for everything in Ecclesiastes 3 vs. 1-8
‘ For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. ‘

We need to be conscious of that. Tap into God’s plans for your life and start doing the work laid out for you. I say this as much to myself as I say to you, dear reader.
Time on earth is a commodity, a precious one at that. We need to be aware of the things we spend our time on. I am genuinely grateful that this is still something I have – time.

It will run out; we just don’t know when.

Church, Jesus, God

MY SUNDAY JESUS

I visit God on Sundays
and always wear my best
I walk into the church, humble in heart
and pray to repent for my ungodly ways
I meet my Jesus on Sundays
To shout Amen and hallelujah
and say a rushed and quiet goodbye
at the end of the service
I forget or maybe choose not to call on Jesus
the rest of the week
I’m ashamed to say I can be a once a week
check-in, kinda-girl;
and forget my God is always willing
From Sunday to Sunday
and every minute in between
My God doesn’t just visit on Sundays
but patiently waits to be invited
in every single day
And yet, I ignore the call and pretend I’m not home
as if He is an unwanted guest wanting something from me
Forgetting I can get all I need just by talking to Him
I visit God on Sundays
and walk into the church
quiet and reserved
Ashamed to say out loud,
I’ve ignored Him all week long
I sing His praises and say the right words in prayer
but most heavy on my heart
is that I forget my God is always there
From Sunday to Sunday
In the church, in my home,
and always everywhere