THESE FEET WERE MADE FOR WALKING
A BROKEN FOOT
Have you ever thought about how important your feet are? Strange introduction but stay with me. I feel very vulnerable putting my poor feet on the internet like this but anyway, here we go.
I’ve had five weeks to ponder this thought, about how important our feet are. I broke my foot and ended up being in a cast for 4 weeks and then I’ll be stuck in a moon boot for another 6 weeks.
I had surgery to repair the broken bone – I had what you call a lisfranc injury and I now have two screws in my right foot to get it all better.
I’ll have to have another surgery next year sometime to remove the screws so recovery to get back to my usual busy, up and down self, is going to take some time.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about a lot of things since the injury; I was booked off from work so I’ve been at home in my cast and using crutches to get around – it’s been one of the most inconvenient experiences of my life.
I never realised before how important my feet are and the use of my feet. It’s one of those things that we take for granted when we’re blessed to have both feet or legs working fully.
Now, I’m not going to compare my experience with people who have had amputations or who were born without the use of their limbs or anything of that sort – I’m simply telling my story.
The last time I broke a part of my body I was probably 7 years old I think; I broke my arm when I was running around in our yard with our two big dogs, Jack and Jill. They were Boerboels and as I fell one of them accidently stepped on my arm; at least that’s how I remember it. I also remember my bone sticking out of my arm and being in hospital and going into theatre and seeing the bright theatre light above my head just before I went under.
As a child, that experience wasn’t inconvenient because I was spoiled and looked after and I got toys and all the snacks and sweets I wanted.
As an adult, breaking my foot, was not so great.
I am a mom of two and a wife and business owner and I also have a full time job so usually I am always on my feet, doing things. The kids need to go to dance class; the house needs to be cleaned, food needs to be made, admin needs to be completed.
But with my foot being broken, most days and especially the first few weeks of recovery; I was stuck in bed or the couch with my foot propped up on pillows. I was also in a lot of pain and the pain meds were my saving grace but the effect of that was that It made me drowsy and I would end up sleeping most of the day.
Fast forward 5 weeks later and I am super restless; I am ready to go back to work and ready to get this cast of my leg but I am also ready to have a few honest conversations with myself.
Nothing like being stuck at home, unable to move around as usual to get you to come face to face with yourself.
So the initial idea was that while I am stuck at home, unable to be up and down; I would write and finish another book or work on some new ideas or be productive because I’m a writer and its not like I need my foot to write, right?
Well, none of that happened. In fact, this is the first substantial piece of writing I’ve released in weeks.
My mind and my brain were sucked dry of its creative coffers.
What I have been doing is eating, sleeping, binge-watching and falling asleep after taking a cocktail of prescribed pain medications.
I’m not proud of it but I am okay with it.
Sometimes we do pressure ourselves to perform while our minds and our bodies are not in the right place.
Many people have told me that maybe this injury was God’s way of telling me to slow down and slow down I did indeed.
But I finally came back to myself.
I can feel it as I’m writing this.
What I do pay attention to now however is feet – I’ve been watching how people walk; how some move their hips from left to right and use their arms while others don’t.
I’ve noticed how people walk with confidence or with a shy demeanour; hoping no one else sees them.
Are some people rushing or taking their time?
Do they take small steps or large ones?
What shoes are they wearing?
Have they had surgery which affected their gait?
I think about that.
I wonder if I will walk ‘normally’ after I am fully recovered or if I will always be slightly anxious now moving forward?
Will I be more appreciative of my body in its entirety?
Most certainly.
Something else that I have been pondering on is how fragile the human body is. Every single day, we leave our homes not knowing how our day will end up.
In fact, let me tell you how I broke my foot in the first place.
A FALL
I was sitting peacefully in my house watching Teen Wolf. I was expecting a visit from my brother and I remembered our car garage was open. I wanted to close it because its untidy and I didn’t want him to see the mess ( hides face) So I walk out my house, I don’t end up closing the garage because I couldn’t reach the handle ( I’m pretty short ) – I give up and decide to leave it and as I am walking back into the small gate into my yard; I miss a step and fall.
The pain was excruciating; at some point after my brother arrived and found me on the ground; I passed out because the pain was so bad. I didn’t even know I broke my foot until a week later when I was sent for an MRI and the surgeon told me it was broken. That was on the 15th of September. I had surgery the very next day.
Anyway, that was five weeks ago – I’m much better now.
Where was I? Oh yes!
We don’t know how our day is going to end up when we wake up in the morning; we don’t know if we’re going to make it home by the end of the day. We don’t know if we’re going to break a leg or an arm or if we’re going to lose someone we dearly love.
This is something that has also been running around in my head.
Appreciate your loved ones and take care of yourself. Physically and mentally.
So its not like I have been sitting here at home not doing anything; I’ve been thinking. All the thoughts just decided to come out today.
Life continued as normal for other people while I was indisposed and that also made me think.
As much as work and responsibilities are important and necessary; you shouldn’t let it consume you and take over your life.
We’ve all heard the saying that you can be replaced at your workplace in an instant if you’re no longer there and its true. Not that I’ve been replaced but I have been able to spend a lot of time with my kids over these last few weeks and it’s been such a blessed time for me, even though I haven’t been able to cook or clean for them but I have been able to be there for them. To be present.
And like I mentioned earlier; I’ve also had to come face to face with myself – I’ve had to take note of the things I don’t like about myself; the things I can fix with simple lifestyle changes. The things I can only leave in God’s hands and also the things I need to let go off. Something that I’ve had to admit to myself as well as is that I may also have become slightly lazy. I’m cringing just writing that out but its true. As much as I’ve been unable to walk and be my usual busy self; I think the laziness started creeping in before I hurt myself and the injury sort of solidified it and gave me a reason to give in to it.
A MIRACLE
I did experience a miracle during this time of being stuck at home. On one of the rare occasions of me leaving the house; I attended a church service with my husband and two friends.
It was a great service with a prophet from the United States giving us the word. After he was done; many people went to him so that he may speak or prophesy over them.
While I was sitting on the steps watching this; the pastor whose church we were visiting came and laid hands on my injured foot and let me tell you, I felt the power of God.
I had been struggling with pain that whole night because usually the pain gets worse at night, I think it has something to do with the cold but when he laid hands on me; it was like a soft breeze overcame me and the pain just vanished, just like that. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Not even the pain meds I am on can do that.
I was able to walk on the foot right after that and even though I continued to wear the cast after that and not immediately remove it, what I felt God was saying to me that night was ‘I AM’
God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than what we can even think to ask of Him and I believe He was reminding me to trust Him and just showing off His power a bit.
I want to be better. I want to be stronger and healthier. I want to spend more time in God’s presence because if I’m honest; during this time since breaking my foot, I have been neglecting my prayer life and I think its because I’ve been so consumed by the problems that I forgot to look to the person who holds all the solutions.
What I do know is this; once I am recovered and even throughout the next few months of recovery; I want to take in everything. I want to feel the sun; I want to read more and write more. I want to achieve more. I want to walk more.
Besides, these feet were made for walking.
