Being a writer is a very lonely thing to be. Unlike a band of musicians working together to create a symphony; a writer is but one person.
You are all alone with just your thoughts. A pen, and a paper, trying to make sense of the loneliness. You hope someone will understand but knowing no one ever will.
It’s a very lonely place to be. In a room by yourself, writing about loneliness. The words on a page holding you together granted you should crumble if you don’t let it flow from the ink.
Yes, it’s very lonely. Very quiet indeed.
Words not like music are silent, unassuming, and not demanding. Gentle almost. The silence is deafening. If not for the sound of your breathing and the slide of the pen, you would almost think you were dead.
Alone and dead with only a pen and page as your companion.
Only the brave ones know where writing truly stems from and where it takes you The places in your mind and imagination that you thought you had forgotten. The memories you never knew you had. The dreams you never dared speak of.
It’s a road not travelled at all. A sad and painful place where the rivers are made out of tears. Very lonely. Very heartbreaking.
I see how hard you work and how tired you are. I see how you sacrifice Friday nights to go and be a good influence to young boys who aren’t your own, how you offer your time to anyone and everyone who needs it, except yourself.
I see how you laugh and smile and how you look at me when you come in for a kiss. How you play with our children, without any inhibitions and so carefree, causing loud belly laughter I can hear from the other side of the house. I see how you love to make me happy; how it brings you joy to see my own.
I see how you lay your head on my shoulder when you’ve had a long tiring day, but you don’t complain. I do it on your behalf. How you dream about our future, how passionate you become about the life you want for us. I see how you encourage me when I am down and when I am having a hard day. How you put your hands under my chin and say, “Listen to me, it’s going to be fine”
At times, I see how you look at me when I’m feeling self-conscious and how you say to me, “You’re so beautiful”.
Sometimes I can even see myself through your eyes and I must say, that makes me smile.
Husband, I see how you love people. I see your kindness, how you share, how you give. How you care for those you love and how you respect those who can’t do anything for you. I see how you love to make others happy.
How you make people laugh with your easy going but sometimes corny jokes; I see how you enjoy seeing them smile and how you continue doing it without much effort. It simply comes naturally to you.
I see you when you play your guitar, how you lift your head to the heavens with your eyes closed and how your own melodies transport you to another place. I see how happy it makes you. I see how happy it makes others to hear you play and how you know just what to say with every song.
I also see how frustrated you get sometimes; how your body at times just gives in. I see how you lay your head on your pillow and sleep immediately, sometimes peacefully, other times fitfully. I see how you shed tears, how your feelings are written on your face and even though others can’t see it, I can. I see how you sometimes sigh and squeeze the top of your nose, shake your head and smile in pure frustration or even exhaustion.
Sitting outside feeling pressed, smelling the dog next to me. The sun’s heat warms my skin. Hearing bird songs and little insects all around me. It’s hard to pinpoint in which direction it’s coming from. There’s a helicopter somewhere, flying overhead, the sound of it starts or far, then it comes closer and closer until I can almost feel the vibrations on my skin. I see the dog out of the corner of my eye, vigorously scratching himself. I’m hot right beneath the sun. I take off the pink cardigan and immediately feel a chill. The dog lies down on his side, baking. His white fur looks almost golden brown. A car whizzes past. A bird chirps in the distance. The sun is hot. I look up and squint. I’m still feeling pressed. It’s a beautiful day. The dog dreams. I breathe
I hope you learn to appreciate all your flaws and find the beauty in every scar, wrinkle, and folded skin.
I hope you learn to love your voice. I hope that you use it to change your world.
I hope you learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made and, I hope you let go of the burden of guilt.
I hope you find love in all the different relationships in your life.
I hope you chase your dreams and get the chance to watch them come to life.
I hope you share your stories and adventures and inspire others to do the same.
I hope you learn to be gentle with yourself and remember that bad decisions do not define you.
I hope you find the strength to fight through the bad times and come out the other side a stronger person.
I hope you remember to pray.
I hope you remember how beautiful you are.
I hope you laugh more.
I hope you play more.
I hope you find more.
I hope you always look for stars in the darkest of nights
and know that the sun will always rise in the morning.
I hope you start believing in love again.
Just believe it again.
I hope you can look back on the last season in your life and find the good
And I hope that you will always be grateful that you have made it this far.
I hope you know that your story is far from over and that the next blank page is waiting for you to create the life that you want.
I hope you know that you have the power to change your life and I hope you remember to never give that power away.
I hope you know that you can push boundaries and break barriers.
I hope that you know that you are never alone.
I hope that you witness great things and climb majestic mountains.
I hope that you find the courage to reach deep within yourself and do what makes you happy.
I hope you walk away from anything that no longer serves you and, I hope you walk away with your head held high.
I hope that you smile again and laugh with all the joy in your spirit.
I hope it’s so loud that the rest of the world can’t help but laugh with you.
.
I hope you remember that saying goodbye is not always a bad thing. I hope you know that the pain doesn’t last. I hope you know that love is plentiful. I hope you dance in the rain and roll in the mud. I hope you plant seeds instead of picking flowers. I hope you remember that having a bit of fun is good for you. I hope you hold warm hands and kiss soft lips. I hope you get the chance to look into loving eyes and fall asleep in a warm embrace. I hope you take care of yourself.
It was fun to be a part of this project. I recall, when the Whatsapp group opened, and all the discussions started flowing, I thought what a wonderful group of people who would come together and contribute to the idea of one person. I believe that is the foundation of Paper Trail.
An amazing group of writers is brought together with a variety of thoughts and ideas and it’s all mixed together in a melting pot of creativity.
I spent some time reading through the journal and it was really hard for me to choose which pieces were my favourite. When you read through it, it really highlights the importance of young people and the pivotal role that they play in society. It gives them a voice.
“Where there are challenges there is bounteous space for the cultural economy to flourish. All that is required is clarity of vision and openness”
On the Twitter page ofPaper Trail, the pinned tweet reads as follows:
“Our mission is to inspire young people through modern storytelling, and our vision is to create a digital journal that includes collaborators of all age groups to share poetry, short stories, articles and write-ups on young leaders and small businesses that improve our community.”
A TRAIL OF FAVOURITES
Like I mentioned before, there are so many facets and a variety of topics in this journal, that it makes it pleasantly difficult to choose which ones were my favourite. There are however some pieces that I would like to highlight.
“Back In The Day” by Shiara Sharanund. A learner at Westville Girls High school wrote a beautiful article that makes you reflect on the days past and how they made you feel. It sums up the idea of nostalgia stunningly. Below is a piece from her article.
An extract from Papertrail Literary Journal.
There is also a sweet little piece from a Grade 4 learner at R.A Engar Primary school. This piece made me feel a bit sad but also put a smile on my face. Since the Covid-19 pandemic, we have forgotten that the little ones have also gone through some major changes but they have adapted so well.
The following quote is from a piece written by Shika Budhoo from her column titled “Align and Shine”
“Be the producer / radio DJ of your own mind and make sure the thoughts you think stay focused on your blessings and goals.”
Shika’s column gives you easy and practical tips on how to change the frequency of your thoughts from negative to positive and I think we can all do with a bit more positivity.
An extract from the column, “Align and Shine”
Another important piece that I would like to highlight is “How To Take Care Of You and Your Mental Health” by Robin Cleote. This piece speaks to all of us and after everything we’ve been through, it’s definitely worth the read.
KOFFEE FOR THE SOUL
I also contributed to the journal and I truly feel honoured that I could do that. I shared a space with amazing writers and if you haven’t heard of them before, you surely will now. Paper Trail brings communities together from across the world through the power of words. It reminds me of my review on Letting In The Light. Another body of work that simply reminds you about the beauty of words and shared experiences.
When I thought about the column that I wanted to contribute to Paper Trail, I wanted to write something honest and something that anyone could relate to. I didn’t want to give advice, I simply wanted to reflect and that’s the brief I proposed to the founder and editor, Ekta Somera.
The name “Koffee For The Soul” was inspired by how when we drink a warm beverage, its comforting and relaxes us and that is the experience I wanted to give the reader.
My first column in Paper Trail
There is a little bit of wisdom in every piece that has been added to this journal. I am amazed at the array of writers and their contributions.
Paper Trail brings together a range of articles for every kind of reader. From recipes, poetry, history, fashion, and makeup to anime and so much more. There is truly something for everyone.
It is not just an enjoyable read but is also a learning experience.
Well done to everyone involved and to Ekta Somera for the idea of starting this journal.
Today a mother buried a child. Sitting in the rows behind her In the church, I watch her; Straight back. Head covered. Blank face. Dignified sadness that she carries.
As person after person Speak words of comfort, I wonder if it reaches her Or If the umbrella of grief is so Overwhelmingly broad, That nothing can penetrate it.
Today a mother said goodbye To her child; An unnatural and unreal occurrence. The small precious box on display Holding everything that she holds dear. And as I sit behind her, Head bowed, Hair undone And tear-stained face I cry the tearsthat this mother No longer can.
I have to admit, it took me a while to really sit down and read this book. I think mostly because of the subject of the book; mental wellness or if you like mental health. It shouldn’t be surprising that so many of us suffer with some form of mental terror; depression, anxiety and sometimes we deal with feelings, thoughts and situations that can’t be described. When I started readingLetting In The Light; I felt a sense of coming home, a feeling of being welcomed into someone’s heart with open arms.
The foreword by Pick Me Up Poetryfounder, Webster Chagonda encompasses this feeling so well;
“Remember, darkness will always make way for the day, and wherever your mind may lead you, I hope these poems become your place of refuge.”
It’s difficult for me to tell which one of the poems are my favourite; there are pieces of each poem that speak directly to me.
They are all relatable and also somewhat confrontational but quite necessary,
“A fleeting moment of peace
as you cease to wonder when the next red drought will dry out this puddle
And if you won’t have drowned in the depth of your head until then”
When I read through the poems, I realised that so many people understand the feelings and circumstances around one topic. I felt safe reading it and saying to myself, “It’s okay to feel this way”
It truly is a stunning body of work with a beautiful use of words, descriptive methods and metaphors. It is almost as if what you’re reading is being carved on your skin. That is how deep the words go.
“Everywhere you walk, you will be a constellation of footsteps”
The anthology sheds light on all the parts of your life that is affected by depression; your mind, body, soul, family, friends and your career an daily life.
“I am ready to recite myself into existence. I am ready to tell anxiety a prophecy even though I sometimes don’t believe”
I want to encourage you to get this book. The words will speak to us all differently and once you get into it, you’ll realise its not just a book you can read once off. You can always go back and remind yourself that you are not alone in your darkness when you feel overwhelmed.
“I was bound by the plight of life and could not get away. I was blinded by the pain of this fight and could not see my way but I heard Hope’s gentle whistle and Joy’s hearty squeal, gently fanning the embers of my heart”
Well done to all the poets who contributed their words, feelings and experiences to this book. Thank you for being brave and baring it all on the pages.
Congratulations to the publishers, Chasing Dreams Publishing and everyone who worked to put this amazing body of work together.
