Kimberly Fray

a person holding a book while having coffee



This past weekend, I attended a women’s conference at our church. Pastor Gugu Dlamini was the keynote speaker and delivered some great advice and in many ways opened my eyes to many things which I either forgot or were never aware off. As a child of God and in my role as a wife, mother and just a woman, I often find myself in a mental state where I feel so lost. I feel hopeless, I feel utterly exhausted and attending this conference reminded me where I should find my strength. Funny thing is, I told myself I wouldn’t be able to attend the conference because I would be working but God had other plans.

The most important or rather one of the most important take-aways for me was the fact that as a woman, married or not or whether you have kids or not you have a big responsibility in the kingdom of God. You are more valuable than you know and you have so much more power than you realise and its time that we not only tap into it but also use it to change the world.

Pastor Gugu started off by explaining how we can live a life of truth. The truth is the Word of God. She explained that the truth about you, your husband, your family and your future are all already laid out and if you want to find it, you need to spend time in the Word of God. She not only said it, but she proved it by referencing several scriptures. The thing is however, the Word of God can only be your truth, if you believe it.

She said that faith is the currency of a Christian.

PSALM 112 VS 2-3 :

Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in his commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever.

To be honest, I wish I had recorded her the entire time but I felt that it was important to be in the moment and take in the teaching hence I’m only sharing key points.

JOHN 10 VS 10:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

When you operate in the currency of faith, you know and trust that God will fulfill his promises to you and to you it doesn’t matter how long it will take. You know when God says He will, it is already done.


See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.

Pastor Gugu unpacked the above scripture. She said that when she reads a scripture, she not only reads it, but she reads and tries to understand every word and I’d like to share with you here what she shared with us.


Uproot all that is not of God and introduce a new standard.


Pull down and tear down any demonic force within your family and your household.


Destroy everything that is not aligned with God.


Overthrow the enemy.


Start building towards the kingdom of God. Direct your household and stay in the gospel.

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No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.

On day two of the conference, we discussed kingdom wealth and how to implement strategies to gain wealth. Pastor Gugu shared some of the following points:

  1. Being a helper is not a subordinate position – she referenced the story of Adam and Eve and asked us why did God decide to make Adam a helper.
  2. A helper can only help when there’s a vision – your husband needs to have a vision for your family so that you can help him bring that vision to life.
  3. As a woman, you get your plan from the Word of God.
  4. Read the Word of God with a strategy in mind. Don’t just read for the sake of reading, but read so that you can understand what is the plan that God has for your life and that of your family.
  5. Recognise the gifting of your children -And pray that God will help you harness those gifts.
  6. We are not led by money, we are led by the Spirit.
  7. We get blessed because we are obedient.
  8. Be a blessing everywhere you go.
  9. We operate in the Supernatural.
  10. Pray the Word of God so that the Word can go work on the things you prayed over.


Again, Pastor Gugu highlighted that as Christians, faith is our currency. This means that it doesn’t matter what your circumstances are or what’s happening around you, that you will find rest and peace in the presence of God. That was something that I especially needed to hear.

Ecclesiastes 2 vs 26:

To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

  1. You please God by operating in faith.
  2. Wealth comes when you start believing the Word of God and start implementing what it says.
  3. Revelations 5 vs 12 confirms Ecclesiastes 2 vs 26
  4. God can’t act if you don’t exercise your faith.
close up shot of a woman praying
Photo by TEP RO on


 Saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing.

POWER: Meaning jurisdiction / rule over your circumstances.

WEALTH: Operate in three dimensions of wealth.

WISDOM: The knowledge of God.

STRENGTH: Inner strength – Spirit of God will rise in you.

HONOUR: Even if you are last, you will be first. God will qualify you as long as you apply in faith.

GLORY AND PRAISE: Arriving in in fullness – operating fully in your gifts.


It’s obviously impossible for me to share the entirety of the wealth of knowledge that was shared during that conference but I think you get the idea of what we learned or at least, what I learned. The experience was different for every woman who attended. I hope by reading this, you also find some comfort and direction.

Here are some final points:

  1. Whatever God has called you to do, do it.
  2. God will open divine connections for y0ou once you start operating in the fullness of who He is.
  3. You need to have an unbelievable reliance on God.
  4. Understand where God is posting you.
  5. Change the conversations in your home.
  6. Always consult God.

I loved that the conference took place over two days; the last day of September and the first day of October. It sort of felt like the ending of something but also the beginning of a new season.

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I’ve written about this topic before on a previous blog platform under the same title but I feel like I need to revive it. In all honesty, I dislike Heritage Day. I remember when I was in school and this particular day came around, we would be told to wear our Heritage clothes and bring cultural foods and speak about our heritage. I never knew what to do. I don’t really know my heritage. All I know is my mother was born in Namibia and I think my father was born in the Eastern Cape (I’m really not sure about that )

Now I am in the position where my kids are going through the same thing. My daughter, who is now in Grade 2, celebrated Heritage Day at her school the other day and they were told to wear cultural or traditional clothing that is synonymous with her heritage. She went to school in pants and a t-shirt and a hoodie. She came home that day and told me how beautiful her friends looked in their African attire and how her friends are Zulu or Sepedi and the like. I felt defeated.

We are Coloured; we are considered a mixed race but the only problem is, I’m not sure, in fact, I have no idea which races fall into that mixed bag of culture and heritage. I know next to nothing of my father’s family or his heritage and sadly my mother is late so I can’t even ask her anything about hers.

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Maybe the reason I dislike this day so much is because I personally don’t know anything about my own history. I wish I had had more conversations with my mother about my maternal side but alas, regret always comes too late.

I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe its time we as a family start building our own heritage.

My son on the other hand was also asked to bring a picture to school to discuss his heritage. We drew him the South African flag, he also drew a sun and a bowl of fruit and the earth. When he was done, I realised culture is what we observe. My son sees the sun in the sky, he sees the earth and he sees food and he knows he belongs somewhere. All the other technicalities of where we come from doesn’t really matter, at least not right now. My son then asked my husband what his heritage is and my husband replied, ‘Your heritage is South African’

That was the same response his father gave him when he was a little boy and had to dress up or participate in Heritage Day.

I don’t want my children to feel as if they don’t belong anywhere. I want them to know they can fit in everywhere if that’s what they wanted. That’s how I felt when I was in school; I felt embarrassed because while everyone else wore traditional clothing and spoke of their traditions and food and culture, I wanted the earth to swallow me whole or at least be invisible for the day.

My husband has similar stories and so do a lot of other Coloured people I’ve spoken to about this topic.

One the other hand, there is beauty in being ‘mixed race’; you are a cacophony of colours and sounds; you are a kaleidoscope of memories and history and you are a part of everyone you come across and you leave a part of yourself wherever you are.

I completely understand that its important to know who you are, to know about the people who came before us and to know where our bloodline leads. I am not dismissing that at all but maybe, if like me, you don’t know much about your ancestry, we can just start building our own cultures and create our own traditions and heritage.

I’ve made the decision to tell my children that our heritage is simply being human. If we start there, we can see that we are all actually a part of the same culture.

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I’ve been thinking about mental health or mental illness for some time now, and like most people, I’ve been there. I call it the dark place.
I remember when I was going through a dark time, I felt lost. It was as if I didn’t belong anywhere. I felt alone. Almost as if no one saw my struggle and my pain, or even if they did, they couldn’t understand it.
When I look back now, I see myself in that place, a dark hole, an endless dark pit, the darkness tangible, I could almost taste it.
It doesn’t leave you. There are times even in your healed state when you find yourself sliding back into the embrace of that familiar darkness.
When I say darkness, I don’t mean not being able to see in front of you which is also very much the case. The darkness I am talking about is a heaviness, a hollow heaviness. It tortures you day after day after day until it eventually chokes the life out of you.
I was alone, lost, and being slowly killed by an enemy I couldn’t see.
My faith saved me.
It saves me still.

Once you’ve been in that dark place and made it out, every single day after that is a battle not to go back there.
I’ve learned that this battle is no longer mine.
You wake up every day, knowing you’re fighting today to stay alive, to not fall back into that dark despair.
It is not something you get over. It’s something you have to work on every single day.
Can you imagine the emotional turmoil, the mental anguish, and the raw desperation someone must be feeling or experiencing to come to a place to want to take their own life and then the bottomless and overwhelming hopelessness to go through with it?
Just take a second and think about it.
Finding yourself at a place where you have absolutely no hope, no escape, and no place to turn except to death.

So just a bit of food for thought; next time you engage with someone just be kind. We don’t know what battles people are fighting within their minds. Your kindness could be what saves someone from taking their own life.

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Being a writer is a very lonely thing to be.
Unlike a band of musicians working together to create a symphony;
a writer is but one person.

You are all alone with just your thoughts. A pen, and a paper, trying to make sense of the loneliness. You hope someone will understand but knowing no one ever will.

It’s a very lonely place to be.
In a room by yourself, writing about loneliness.
The words on a page holding you together granted you should
crumble if you don’t let it flow from the ink.

Yes, it’s very lonely. Very quiet indeed.

Words not like music are silent, unassuming, and not demanding. Gentle almost. The silence is deafening.
If not for the sound of your breathing and the slide of the pen, you would almost think you were dead.

Alone and dead with only a pen and page as your companion.

Only the brave ones know where writing truly stems from
and where it takes you
The places in your mind and imagination that you thought you had forgotten. The memories you never knew you had. The dreams you never dared speak of.

It’s a road not travelled at all.
A sad and painful place where the rivers
are made out of tears.
Very lonely. Very heartbreaking.

Very beautiful indeed.

husband, love, relationships


I see you.

I see how hard you work and how tired you are. I see how you sacrifice Friday nights to go and be a good influence to young boys who aren’t your own, how you offer your time to anyone and everyone who needs it, except yourself.

I see how you laugh and smile and how you look at me when you come in for a kiss. How you play with our children, without any inhibitions and so carefree, causing loud belly laughter I can hear from the other side of the house. I see how you love to make me happy; how it brings you joy to see my own.

I see how you lay your head on my shoulder when you’ve had a long tiring day, but you don’t complain. I do it on your behalf. How you dream about our future, how passionate you become about the life you want for us. I see how you encourage me when I am down and when I am having a hard day. How you put your hands under my chin and say, “Listen to me, it’s going to be fine”

At times, I see how you look at me when I’m feeling self-conscious and how you say to me, “You’re so beautiful”.

Sometimes I can even see myself through your eyes and I must say, that makes me smile.

Husband, I see how you love people. I see your kindness, how you share, how you give. How you care for those you love and how you respect those who can’t do anything for you. I see how you love to make others happy.

How you make people laugh with your easy going but sometimes corny jokes; I see how you enjoy seeing them smile and how you continue doing it without much effort. It simply comes naturally to you.

I see you when you play your guitar, how you lift your head to the heavens with your eyes closed and how your own melodies transport you to another place. I see how happy it makes you. I see how happy it makes others to hear you play and how you know just what to say with every song.

I also see how frustrated you get sometimes; how your body at times just gives in. I see how you lay your head on your pillow and sleep immediately, sometimes peacefully, other times fitfully. I see how you shed tears, how your feelings are written on your face and even though others can’t see it, I can. I see how you sometimes sigh and squeeze the top of your nose, shake your head and smile in pure frustration or even exhaustion.

But I see how you carry on.

I see how you carry others.

I see how you love,

I see how you pray.

I see you and I love what I see.

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Have you ever heard or read the quote, “Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned”, well that quote rings very true for me, especially since we started our business.
I’ve experienced it time and time again and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to give up. How many times I’ve told my husband I quit and how many times I wanted to cry because I messed up.
It’s been a very difficult journey and the funny part is, we’re less than two years old and I already feel as if I’ve experienced the most.
As always, I continue to learn lessons; I don’t always learn immediately and sometimes I can’t see the lesson and, those are the days I want to give up but I find that when I take a breath and forgive myself; I can see more clearly.
So here are a few more lessons I’ve learned since we started Fray Music Academy.


This is a difficult one; not just in business but in life. However, when it comes to business, your mistakes could cost you money or your business entirely. It’s vital for the life of your business and your reputation that you own up when you’ve made a mistake, that way you can still salvage relationships with clients and employees. They will appreciate the honesty.

Better to have a moment of awkwardness than to have a lifetime of regret.


I’ve done this one a lot. I’ve compared where I am in life and in business with those who have been running their business for years and then I realise that its silly to do that. Social media, the internet and the age of the influencer have caused us to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves because of the unrealistic expectations we think we need to prescribe to. Take your time to build whatever it is you’re building and stop comparing your journey to that of others.

journey, business, chapters


Always strive to grow. There is nothing valuable for you in your comfort zone. The only thing about growing is that it’s not comfortable and most people don’t want to experience discomfort.


I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to avoid a difficult conversation with a client or parent or just wanted to avoid anything which I knew would be difficult to handle or discuss but once you’ve dealt with the difficult situation, you’ll realise it wasn’t so bad after all.


It’s pointless just reading up on others and then not trying what worked for them. It might not always work for you but at least you can say you tried.


But then be prepared and willing to start again. If that’s what you want.


We recently had a guest speaker join us in one of our meetings and he pointed out that as a business you need to diversify and expand your services. This will not only allow your business to grow but will also open up other avenues for your brand or business.


Your staff or employees are human, just like you but there will come a time when you will either have to let someone go or you will have to deal with a staff member who is not pulling their weight and this won’t always be easy but its important that these difficult conversations are had.

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This will help you during those times when you feel like giving up and you feel as if you can’t go on. Always remember what your motivation was for when you started.


You will forget things. Have a designated notebook for your business, have reminders on your phone and calendar.


This falls in line with the last point in this post as well but you don’t always need to seek help from those within your company. Sometimes asking for help means asking for advice from other business owners or simply asking your staff to pick up more work if you feel overwhelmed. There is no shame in asking for help. Personally, this is one lesson that I had to learn the hard way.


This is especially important if you work two jobs like me. I work as a news producer and on my off days, I manage our music school. Besides the work aspects of my life; I am also a wife and mom of two so you can imagine what my days look like. It’s important to get a handle of everything and to designate a time to all your projects and errands.

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Mistakes can happen very easily when you try to do too much all at once. When you’re done with one thing, then you move on to the next. I know multi-tasking can sound amazing but sometimes its better to just focus on one thing at a time.


Don’t leave anything to chance and try to be prepared for any eventuality. This goes hand in hand with the point about managing your time.


Don’t just hire people to get the job done but find people who see and share your vision and who are willing to build with you. An employee will either make or break your business.


If you have a business partner, always make sure you run everything past that person or discuss it with your business partner. This is especially important if you and this person started this business from the very beginning. That is the beauty of having a partner, you never have to deal with anything alone.


Nothing happens overnight. Pace yourself and let things happen as and when it should.

I know as our business grows, I know that we will continue to add more lessons to this list. As an entrepreneur, you never really stop learning and you never stop growing.

A day in the sun


Sitting outside feeling pressed, smelling the dog next to me.
The sun’s heat warms my skin.
Hearing bird songs and little insects all around me.
It’s hard to pinpoint in which direction it’s coming from.
There’s a helicopter somewhere, flying overhead,
the sound of it starts or far, then it comes closer and closer until I can almost feel the vibrations on my skin.
I see the dog out of the corner of my eye, vigorously scratching himself. I’m hot right beneath the sun.
I take off the pink cardigan and immediately feel a chill. The dog lies down on his side, baking. His white fur looks almost golden brown.
A car whizzes past. A bird chirps in the distance. The sun is hot.
I look up and squint.
I’m still feeling pressed.
It’s a beautiful day. The dog dreams. I breathe

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I’ve been thinking a lot about missed opportunities of late. It reminds me of the feeling of missing the train, you are so close and you just make it through the turnstiles but you are just not in time. You do that run-walk, hoping against all hope that by some one in a million chance that the train will wait for you. But you know very well, that will not be happening.

You know that the train only stops for a minute and then it’s gone.

Much like opportunity and effort.

You do just enough to get close enough but you don’t push through to the final test. You know how desperately you want chance or that opportunity but you are unwilling to run the race to the end; its either too hard or you just don’t have faith and you don’t believe that you can do it. In fact, maybe some part of you believes you don’t deserve it. So you don’t go all out, you just do enough to say, ‘I tried’ and then live your life always wondering what would have happened if I just took the risk? if I just went all out on this, what would have happened ? What is on the other side of this fear and hesitation?


I can’t tell you how many times I’ve experienced that. I’m not sure if it’s because of imposter syndrome or fear, maybe a bit of both but I always find myself thinking about all the opportunities I’ve missed because I wasn’t brave enough to step into that opportunity that was wide open in front of me.

Something else I’ve realised is, that we always need to be ready for any opportunity. Poor planning is my Achilles’ heel. It’s a really bad habit and because of my poor planning, I’m never prepared for opportunities when they arise. There have been times when I’ve been blessed despite this weakness and things worked out for my good. However, most times, I end up missing the train and I have to wait again and that wait, my friends, is long.

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Photo by Albin Berlin on


Some of us will just do more to get it. Have you ever waited for the train on the platform, you hear it come along and then all of a sudden, everyone standing there with you, waiting for the same train, gets ready to get on the train. Others have been waiting and ready since they arrived, then there are those who are still sitting, on their phones and not seeing what’s coming and then there are those, who are running down the stairs, trying to make it, knowing they are late but again, hoping that they will get a chance to get on the train. Often those people, only get a glimpse of the train as it leaves the platform.

What I’ve experienced when I wait for the train is when that train arrives, people will push you aside to get onto that train, they want the best seats or simply a chance to sit and be comfortable. Those people don’t wait for the passengers to get off before they get on, they get on the train while others are disembarking. They don’t care who gets squished or stepped on, they simply want their opportunity to get onto that train and if you’re not quick enough and sometimes not aggressive enough, you will be left behind.

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Photo by Kaique Rocha on


The truth of the matter is that once you do get on the train, whether you’re sitting or standing, there is always a view and you are well on your way to your destination. We all have a place in our minds where we wish to go, things we want to do and places we want to see but if I’ve learned anything, these last few years, is that you won’t get there if you don’t get moving. And if you take a minute to lift your eyes of your phone and take a look around you, you might find that your opportunity is on that train.

It’s all about the journey, right?

photo of woman standing inside train holding on metal rail while looking outside
Photo by mentatdgt on
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I previously wrote a blog on what I’ve learned from running a business but due to the fact that I continuously learn and things continue to change and grow, I thought I would write a part two.

If you would like to read the previous post, you can find it here.


Your employees are the lifeblood of your business. When they feel valued and appreciated, they will give more than what you ask. It’s important to remember that people who work for you, also have lives, families, other responsibilities and its important to take these things into consideration when making decisions.


It’s always important to learn new skills when you are a business owner and especially when you are just starting out. Skills that are important to learn are marketing, communication, human resources and financial management. There are a ton of books available on these exact topics.


Your clients are just as important as your employees. Your clients or customers will not always be happy with you and there will be times when grievances are brought to the fore. It’s important to take note of all the issues your clients / customers are unhappy with and deal with them as soon as they come up. Letting issues fester will only cause it to get worse.


Yes, you get tired. It’s easy to veg out in front of the television and tell yourself you’ll do that thing tomorrow or later but when later comes, something else will take priority. When you’re building a business, especially in the beginning stages, its vitally important to put in the time and work on and for your business, even when you are exhausted. I have a day job as a news producer and when I get home, I am a mom and a wife but once the kids are down, then for a couple of hours, I need to be a business owner and work on building my company alongside my husband. We do have our days when we procrastinate but we always regret it. It’s better to put in the hours today so that you can see the results tomorrow.

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Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava on


As business owners, we all have things we want to do for our business to make it better, to grow and to make more money or gain more clients. It’s easy to speak about these things but much harder to put it into practice. It’s important to try new things and to attempt new strategies. Even if it fails, at least you know that you tried.


We all know the saying, “No risk, no reward” I’ve found that to be very true since starting this entrepreneurship journey. You will never know what’s on the other side of this journey if you don’t take a few risks. It doesn’t just have to be financial risks but it can be putting your trust in someone and hoping against all hope that they won’t cost you your business.


For us as a music school it can be competitions, showcases, events and networking opportunities. It’s important to put your business out there so that people can be made aware that you exist. It also helps you to make connections and network with other people in your industry and we all know that your network equals your net worth.

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Photo by Matheus Bertelli on


As I said before, you will fail and you will make mistakes and it’s important not to be ignorant of that fact. Don’t plan to fail but be prepared in any event. Failure is simply part of the journey.


Invest time and money into your business. This is especially if you’re building something that you want to last for a lifetime.


I’m not saying stalk your competitors but visit their websites and check out what they are doing. What do they have that you don’t . What are they doing that you aren’t and see if its something you can implement or even do better.


This is an important one. Your employees are your capital. Invest in them, train them and encourage them. Let them know they matter and give them room to grow. Make them a part of the business and involve them in the growth of the business.


This is especially important in the beginning stages of your company when you are still very hands on in the business. Eventually you will be able to hire people to do the admin but until that happens, learn to love the admin side of the business. It’s hard and tiring but it helps you to see where your business is going and how its growing.

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This is a hard one, especially for someone like me. I can be very hard on myself and I hate making mistakes in the business because I know I work with clients, I work with people’s children and their money and time and it’s important for me to do it right but I am flawed, just like everyone else and making mistakes will always be a part of the process. Once you see the lesson in the mistake, forgiveness will come.


Again, like I said in the previous point, I work with people, their children and their time and money and clients, especially parents don’t want to waste their time and money on something that will not be worth the investment. Sometimes you will upset your client and it won’t always be your fault but be gracious about it. Be understanding and always remain calm. Exploding on a customer or client will never help the situation.


Communication is key in everything. Again, this is important when you are hands on in your business and you deal with clients, customers and investors directly. It’s important to know how to speak to people, how to articulate yourself and how to relay messages. This is one of the reasons my husband and I decided to put me in charge of dealing with our students and parents because between the two of us, my communication skills are better. It also helps that I work in a communication orientated industry like Journalism. Communication skills are also important when you are trying to sell your product to a potential client or customer.

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Photo by Christina Morillo on


I can’t emphasize this enough. Knowing what is happening in your particular industry and staying up to date with events and announcements will always be important and will help for conversational topics when you’re networking. It’s important to stay up to date with the latest news in your industry so that your business doesn’t fall behind and out of touch.

As we continue on this journey of running and owning a business, a music school to be more specific, I’m certain that we will continue to learn and grow. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll write a book.

lighted candles on a cake


So, birthdays. A time to celebrate and be grateful that God has blessed us
with more time on this earth. A time to discover who we are and who we want to
be. A time to love our life and not place any unnecessary pressure on ourselves.

We all want to feel that we matter. We all want to know that our existence
matters, so we look forward to that one and only day on the calendar. The day
that reminds us that we are still alive. The day that says, you’ve made it
through another year, here take another.

So, we wake up in the morning and check our phones, wondering on whose mind
we were first and secretly hoping that they weren’t reminded by Facebook.

We remind people indirectly, “Do you know what day it is today?”
only to receive that unenthusiastic, “Happy Birthday”. We smile and
say thank you, feeling special even if it’s just for that one day.

We mark the day by dressing up and setting up expectations for ourselves
that no one else knows about. We expect gifts, a party maybe and get excited
because today is the day that everyone has to be kind to us. After all, it’s
our birthday. We take pictures and post it all over social media, we like,
share and retweet copycat birthday messages and smile in pride as people ask
us, “how old are you today?” knowing that not everyone makes its to
their next birthday.

This year, I turned 30-years old. I had planned to do something that I
believed would help me overcome a fear; I wanted to go on a huge rollercoaster
and scream my lungs out and feel the sensation of freedom in my gut but I
couldn’t do it. I chickened out.

The experience was meant to mark my new decade, it was meant to signify the
trajectory that my life would have taken for the next ten years; facing my
fears, doing things outside of my comfort zone, climbing new heights, literally
and figuratively but instead I stood in front of the rollercoaster and I burst
into tears. I cried because I wasn’t brave enough to do what I had set out to do
and I cried because I was still in the same place I was the day before; birthday
or no birthday. I cried because I had set such high expectations for myself and
I couldn’t go through with it. I cried because I was embarrassed. I cried because
I was starting my new decade standing in front of inanimate object, intimidated and feeling

I still regret not going on the rollercoaster and I’m still scared to do it
but I hope someday I will gain the courage to face at least that one fear.

If it’s your birthday today and you’re reading this, I hope you find the
courage to face even your smallest fears and I hope you relinquish all expectations
you had of yourself for this next season and simply enjoy being alive.

Happy birthday.

christmas presents
Photo by Jill Wellington on