Personal Development

THESE FEET WERE MADE FOR WALKING

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A BROKEN FOOT

Have you ever thought about how important your feet are? Strange introduction but stay with me. I feel very vulnerable putting my poor feet on the internet like this but anyway, here we go.
I’ve had five weeks to ponder this thought, about how important our feet are. I broke my foot and ended up being in a cast for 4 weeks and then I’ll be stuck in a moon boot for another 6 weeks.
I had surgery to repair the broken bone – I had what you call a lisfranc injury and I now have two screws in my right foot to get it all better.
I’ll have to have another surgery next year sometime to remove the screws so recovery to get back to my usual busy, up and down self, is going to take some time.


I’ve had a lot of time to think about a lot of things since the injury; I was booked off from work so I’ve been at home in my cast and using crutches to get around – it’s been one of the most inconvenient experiences of my life.
I never realised before how important my feet are and the use of my feet. It’s one of those things that we take for granted when we’re blessed to have both feet or legs working fully.
Now, I’m not going to compare my experience with people who have had amputations or who were born without the use of their limbs or anything of that sort – I’m simply telling my story.
The last time I broke a part of my body I was probably 7 years old I think; I broke my arm when I was running around in our yard with our two big dogs, Jack and Jill. They were Boerboels and as I fell one of them accidently stepped on my arm; at least that’s how I remember it. I also remember my bone sticking out of my arm and being in hospital and going into theatre and seeing the bright theatre light above my head just before I went under.
As a child, that experience wasn’t inconvenient because I was spoiled and looked after and I got toys and all the snacks and sweets I wanted.
As an adult, breaking my foot, was not so great.
I am a mom of two and a wife and business owner and I also have a full time job so usually I am always on my feet, doing things. The kids need to go to dance class; the house needs to be cleaned, food needs to be made, admin needs to be completed.
But with my foot being broken, most days and especially the first few weeks of recovery; I was stuck in bed or the couch with my foot propped up on pillows. I was also in a lot of pain and the pain meds were my saving grace but the effect of that was that It made me drowsy and I would end up sleeping most of the day.

This has been my life for the last few weeks.

Fast forward 5 weeks later and I am super restless; I am ready to go back to work and ready to get this cast of my leg but I am also ready to have a few honest conversations with myself.
Nothing like being stuck at home, unable to move around as usual to get you to come face to face with yourself.
So the initial idea was that while I am stuck at home, unable to be up and down; I would write and finish another book or work on some new ideas or be productive because I’m a writer and its not like I need my foot to write, right?
Well, none of that happened. In fact, this is the first substantial piece of writing I’ve released in weeks.
My mind and my brain were sucked dry of its creative coffers.
What I have been doing is eating, sleeping, binge-watching and falling asleep after taking a cocktail of prescribed pain medications.
I’m not proud of it but I am okay with it.
Sometimes we do pressure ourselves to perform while our minds and our bodies are not in the right place.
Many people have told me that maybe this injury was God’s way of telling me to slow down and slow down I did indeed.
But I finally came back to myself.
I can feel it as I’m writing this.
What I do pay attention to now however is feet – I’ve been watching how people walk; how some move their hips from left to right and use their arms while others don’t.
I’ve noticed how people walk with confidence or with a shy demeanour; hoping no one else sees them.
Are some people rushing or taking their time?
Do they take small steps or large ones?
What shoes are they wearing?
Have they had surgery which affected their gait?
I think about that.
I wonder if I will walk ‘normally’ after I am fully recovered or if I will always be slightly anxious now moving forward?
Will I be more appreciative of my body in its entirety?
Most certainly.
Something else that I have been pondering on is how fragile the human body is. Every single day, we leave our homes not knowing how our day will end up.

In fact, let me tell you how I broke my foot in the first place.

A FALL

I was sitting peacefully in my house watching Teen Wolf. I was expecting a visit from my brother and I remembered our car garage was open. I wanted to close it because its untidy and I didn’t want him to see the mess ( hides face) So I walk out my house, I don’t end up closing the garage because I couldn’t reach the handle ( I’m pretty short ) – I give up and decide to leave it and as I am walking back into the small gate into my yard; I miss a step and fall.
The pain was excruciating; at some point after my brother arrived and found me on the ground; I passed out because the pain was so bad. I didn’t even know I broke my foot until a week later when I was sent for an MRI and the surgeon told me it was broken. That was on the 15th of September. I had surgery the very next day.
Anyway, that was five weeks ago – I’m much better now.


Where was I? Oh yes!
We don’t know how our day is going to end up when we wake up in the morning; we don’t know if we’re going to make it home by the end of the day. We don’t know if we’re going to break a leg or an arm or if we’re going to lose someone we dearly love.
This is something that has also been running around in my head.
Appreciate your loved ones and take care of yourself. Physically and mentally.
So its not like I have been sitting here at home not doing anything; I’ve been thinking. All the thoughts just decided to come out today.
Life continued as normal for other people while I was indisposed and that also made me think.
As much as work and responsibilities are important and necessary; you shouldn’t let it consume you and take over your life.
We’ve all heard the saying that you can be replaced at your workplace in an instant if you’re no longer there and its true. Not that I’ve been replaced but I have been able to spend a lot of time with my kids over these last few weeks and it’s been such a blessed time for me, even though I haven’t been able to cook or clean for them but I have been able to be there for them. To be present.
And like I mentioned earlier; I’ve also had to come face to face with myself – I’ve had to take note of the things I don’t like about myself; the things I can fix with simple lifestyle changes. The things I can only leave in God’s hands and also the things I need to let go off. Something that I’ve had to admit to myself as well as is that I may also have become slightly lazy. I’m cringing just writing that out but its true. As much as I’ve been unable to walk and be my usual busy self; I think the laziness started creeping in before I hurt myself and the injury sort of solidified it and gave me a reason to give in to it.

Here you can see the x-ray which shows the screws in my foot

A MIRACLE

I did experience a miracle during this time of being stuck at home. On one of the rare occasions of me leaving the house; I attended a church service with my husband and two friends.
It was a great service with a prophet from the United States giving us the word. After he was done; many people went to him so that he may speak or prophesy over them.
While I was sitting on the steps watching this; the pastor whose church we were visiting came and laid hands on my injured foot and let me tell you, I felt the power of God.
I had been struggling with pain that whole night because usually the pain gets worse at night, I think it has something to do with the cold but when he laid hands on me; it was like a soft breeze overcame me and the pain just vanished, just like that. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Not even the pain meds I am on can do that.
I was able to walk on the foot right after that and even though I continued to wear the cast after that and not immediately remove it, what I felt God was saying to me that night was ‘I AM’
God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than what we can even think to ask of Him and I believe He was reminding me to trust Him and just showing off His power a bit.
I want to be better. I want to be stronger and healthier. I want to spend more time in God’s presence because if I’m honest; during this time since breaking my foot, I have been neglecting my prayer life and I think its because I’ve been so consumed by the problems that I forgot to look to the person who holds all the solutions.
What I do know is this; once I am recovered and even throughout the next few months of recovery; I want to take in everything. I want to feel the sun; I want to read more and write more. I want to achieve more. I want to walk more.
Besides, these feet were made for walking.

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love, kindness

KINDNESS IS A CURRENCY

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Life can be harsh. Harsh is not even the correct word to use. It can be excruciating, exhausting, desperate. We are constantly drenched in uncomfortable and testing situations. We all know the saying ‘be kind, everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about’ , but what that saying doesn’t mention is that every day, people are fighting battles, but they are also losing battles. Not every day is a winning day. Not every day is a beautiful, joyful day. As humans, we are put to the test every single day. Not all tests are the same, and not everyone goes through the same thing. One might think your situation is less traumatic than someone else’s, but who knows how you are affected by what you are going through compared to another person?

There should be no comparison. Only compassion.


There are days when you can’t get out of bed, days when the lump in your throat constricts you from speaking, or when you are working extra hard just not to cry because you are feeling downright sad. Our minds are a battlefield, and sometimes we find ourselves behind enemy lines.

And that’s okay, we are allowed to feel sad. We can’t win every day, we can’t be strong every day.
Every day I come across stories of people who are suffering; it’s death and poverty and it’s loneliness and it’s hurt and pain and confusion and loss and grief – I am surrounded by it every day. There are days where I ask God, ‘Why do all these bad things happen? Why do mothers kill their children and why are there wars ? Why do people in power take advantage of the very people they are meant to work for and protect? What is the point of all of it?

We must be kind, always be kind and compassionate, but also have emotional intelligence. We must understand that sometimes, when someone is treating us in an unkind manner, they might be fighting that day to keep their heads above water. It might not always be the case, but let love lead, and the rest will follow.
Kindness is a currency. Today might be the day that you can be a shoulder for someone, and tomorrow, you might need them.

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Life is simple when we focus on small acts of kindness.

A kind word or deed, like paying for someone’s

Lunch or offering a listening ear.

Giving someone a warm hug when you can see they need it or

Holding a mother’s baby while she takes a breath.

Simple things, not so?

But your heart has to be in it. It has to be sincere and honest,

Without any expectation in return.

It’s doing what we can to make another person’s life easier

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ART IS FREEDOM

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The pen is your weapon
Don’t doubt yourself
Stop trying to please the world
Your art will never be for everyone
That is where the freedom lies
In whichever way it comes
It’s meant to be different
It’s intended to exist in a world
Where colours are rare and
shapes are strange
Don’t be afraid to let your writing speak
Whether in poetry, novels, or in simple
Journal entries,
Let it reflect the times in which
You find yourself
Explore through prose how you felt at a certain
Point in your life and
how the wind kissed your skin
Let the memories flow out of your fingertips
Allow it to seep into the page
Let it soak the edges and doodle the margins
Art is meant to make you feel different.
It’s intended to make you experience things that have no
Words yet so that you,
the writer can give it a name
Just like when God gave Adam power in the beginning
To name the animals and plants and everything around him
You have the power to create
Art is freedom
It can set you free
It makes noise and colours outside the lines
Art is wild
But it cannot roam free if its
Caged in your mind
It is love and passion
Your ink
It will never run dry or fade
Your pages will never run out
And your stories will never end
Artists are the authors of history.
Art is freedom
You are art
You are free
Some dance it out
Others play it loud
Some paint and draw it
With lines and colours and then
There are those of us who write.
Those who play with words and create
New meaning simply by rearranging
a sentence or two
Art is love
Art sits on the floor and plays
In the dirt
It looks up at the stars,
Makes shapes in the clouds
And smiles at the moon
Art cries in the rain
And dances in the sun.

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TO THE MEN WHO MADE ME CRY

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I’m writing to you with a broken heart and bloodshot eyes

You had many reasons to justify why I was wrong and maybe you were right;

I’m too emotional, I’m too needy, I overthink too much, I’m just too much…

You were all different but somehow your reasons were all the same.

It made me wonder and maybe even believe that I was the problem.

I sit in a dark, cold room; my eyes soaked with tears, typing this out in the hopes that all the feelings I might still have for any of you will leave my heart and only live on in this letter.

I loved you, all of you.

In different ways but somehow still the same

I loved you desperately.

I loved you to the point where I was willing to change who I was and who I am just so that you could be more comfortable.

I told myself to speak less or make sure I said the right things so that you could compliment me on my intellect or on the way I spoke. Maybe if I sounded smarter, you would take me more seriously.

“Don’t cry so much, pretend to be tough and not so emotional. Don’t show him it bothers you ” I would say

Don’t be so needy;

don’t touch him unless he touches you first,

don’t kiss him if he doesn’t initiate,

and don’t hold his hand in public, you know he doesn’t like it.

Don’t show him it bothers you.

Dress nice, for him.

Show some skin.

Show less skin.

Be sexy.

Be coy.

Listen when he speaks.

Take his advice on everything,

He is smarter than you are anyway.

Be less.

Make yourself smaller.

And on and on it would go.

You all made me cry and none of you gave it a second thought.

You took a bit of my essence, piece by piece;

you filled yourself up with me;

moaning and groaning in my ear when all I wanted to hear was

I love you.

I see you.

I will cry it all out here in this dark room,

In the hopes that when I wake in the morning I will be cured of my stupidity and naivety.

You hurt me. All of you.

And yet, I still reached out

While you continued to throw rocks at me.

You continue to make me shed tears to the point that my eyes are flooded and I can no longer see the screen in front of me.

I thought I had no more tears left to cry but my own heart lied to me.

I am hoping that this will be the last.

I will not do this again.

Hurt myself,

Over

And over

And over

Again.

How do so many different men have the unique ability to make one person feel so undeserving of love?

How do you become part of such a brotherhood?

You speak to me with such contempt.

You wear your arrogance like a badge.

It is not in my nature to hold grudges,

I have forgiven you all long ago but I can’t help but wonder;

Were my lips so bitter pressed against yours that you can now no longer say a kind word to me?

Was I such a horrific sight in your eyes that you can now no longer look at me without disgust?

Was the love I shared with you so terrible that the memory of me in your life now detests you?

What was so appalling about me

that you had to treat me like yesterday’s trash?

To the men who made me cry,

I sincerely do not wish you ill; I pray peace over you but I also thank you;

because now I can tell the difference between real love and

what you made me believe was love.

And it is certainly not the same thing.

TO THE MEN WHO MADE ME CRY Read More »

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GRIEVE SO THAT YOU MAY GROW

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It’s okay to grieve for a life that you thought you would live.
Death comes in many different forms, not only the death of a loved one but also the death of a dream or the death of a certain path you wanted to take but, things turned out differently.
The Bible says that man may make his plans, but God directs our steps, and that’s exactly what we’re taught in this instance.
Sometimes, the death of your dream is the birth of God’s plan for your life and His plans are always bigger and greater than what we can imagine.
But still, it’s okay to grieve.
To grieve is to show that you loved and cared for something that is now lost but,

not everything that is lost is a loss.

So go through the feelings and the emotions.
Feel the pain, but then surrender your thinking and understanding, and let God take control. He knows better and loves us too much to let us live below our potential, power, and the calling He has placed within us.

Grieve so that you can grow.

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A PRAYER FOR FASTING

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I desire You more, Lord
More than I desire bread to touch my lips
and fill my belly to give me the sensation of being satisfied
I crave the satisfaction of Your presence wholly in my life
I hunger desperately after You alone
For You alone to give me the bread of life
For You alone to provide living waters
I thirst after you, Lord
For You alone are my sustenance
My provider
I will strip myself bare only to be covered and embraced by You.
I want to forget everything the world has shoved down my throat
Detox my spirit and be filled with You by You
Always

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THE POWER OF WORSHIP

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Worship has a way of humbling a person and at the same time, convicting you.
The truth is, we all sin, none of us are perfect so when I’ve entertained the world and laughed at people’s misfortune, made fun of others, gossiped, spoke ill of others and generally just had a bad heart throughout the day, a worship song will bring me to tears and then to my knees.
It will not just move me but it will convict me. Worship should be the true word of God, it’s not just there to make you feel good. It has the power to bring you back to God and back to the heart of worship.
It will bring you face to face with your sins and then you are faced with the truth of who you are and who you are supposed to be. You are reminded that you are a child of God and that there is a certain way you’re meant to carry yourself and present yourself to the world. When you’re in true worship of Christ, your heart has no choice but to change.
You will end up repenting and crying out before God and asking for forgiveness, atleast that is my experience.
Because that is what God does, that is what worship does. It changes you and once you’ve experienced it before, you always want to go back, even when you’ve strayed. Because that is the power of worship.
That is the power of God.
He waits for you to find your way back and then welcomes you with open arms.

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THINGS TO REMEMBER AS A BUSINESS OWNER

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Let’s laugh first.
Now we can cry.

Now pause and take a breath.
We are all human and we will make mistakes.
As you read through this, let’s remember that our mistakes do not define us, and what defines us is how we bounce back and learn from our mistakes, even when running a business

HAVE A VISION


Having a vision for your business is very important. Write down what you want to see for your business and your employees.
Whether that is having a property, having more clients, or opening more branches, write everything down.
You need to have a clear vision and know which direction you want your company to go. You also need to have small goals that you will set out to achieve periodically to help you achieve those larger goals.

If you are unclear about where your business is heading, your employees, investors, sponsors, and supporters won’t know either and that will make it very difficult for them to get behind you.

CHECK YOURSELF


Be slow to anger and frustration. Don’t throw your toys when things don’t go your way. Things will more often not go your way than they will go your way. Adjust your sails and keep moving.
Sometimes we tend to react in the heat of the moment and we end up making decisions based on how we’re feeling at that moment.
Whether we’re angry at a business partner or we are irritated at an employee or frustrated with a client. It’s important to make decisions when you’re in a clear and sound mind.

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THINK LONG TERM


If it won’t matter or make a difference to your company in the next 2 to five years, stop pondering over it. Learn from it and move on. The quicker you get over it, the faster you can grow and improve who you are as a person and in your business.

ASK FOR ADVICE


There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help or advice. Some people have been running businesses longer than you have and they have more likely been through all the things you’re finding yourself in. There is no shame in admitting that you don’t know everything.
Every expert was once a beginner.

LISTEN


Listen to your employees, your clients, and your business partners. You are not an island. There are other people involved in your company. It may not be direct involvement, but you do have other people to account for.
Figure out what it is that they need or want from the company. Where it is that they see themselves in the future of the business. This will not only make things clearer for you both and the employee/investor or client but it will also give you a sense of understanding and clarity on the role you all play in moving the company forward.

MEETINGS


Meetings are important. Don’t be afraid to set up meetings and appointments, either with staff clients, or business partners. Meetings are important to establish where everyone’s head is at and luckily we live in an age now where we can do things online. Do try and set up in-person meetings as often as possible. It helps to sort out grievances and also give appraisals.

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EMPLOYEES ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS


Understand that your employees are not your friends and that they probably don’t even like you. It’s true. I’ve seen and been on both sides of the situation and can 100% guarantee that you are not your employees’ favourite person and that is okay.
You will knock heads with them but as long as the respect remains and things don’t get out of hand to an extreme extent.

LEARN FROM OTHERS


Learn from other business owners and entrepreneurs. This goes with the same point about asking for advice. You can learn a lot from people who have been doing what you’re doing for a longer period. Watch YouTube videos, do research, read books and articles, and follow different business accounts on social media or accounts that are associated with your industry. The internet is at your fingertips and you have no excuse not to do the research. Information is abundant and readily available.

LOVE YOUR BUSINESS


No one should love your business more than you do.
Remember why you started in the first place. Revisit your vision. Remind yourself what the motivation was behind all of it and that will push you to continue to nurture what you have.
That being said; you need to put in the time and effort to grow and strengthen what you have. No one else will do it for you.

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TAKE THE LOSSES


It’s hard and sometimes extremely heartbreaking when your company takes a loss; whether financially or if it’s staff or clients. It’s never easy and no business owner wants that.
Pain however is a great motivator. Use that loss to accelerate to greater heights.
Also remember that not every idea you try out will work but don’t give up, something eventually will.
Take calculated risks and if it doesn’t work out, at least you can say, I tried.

ACCOUNT FOR EVERYTHING IN YOUR BUSINESS

Keep a record of everything, even if you don’t think it’s important. Make sure you have records or a paper trail of all your transactions including payments, purchases, employee details, asset lists, and more. You need to be able to account for everything in your business.
Learn everything you need to know about tax, policies you must comply with, contracts and legalities around your company, and everything in between. I’m not saying to become an expert on everything but I am saying, to be aware of what is going on in your company so that you can again, account for everything.

Lastly, remain humble and grateful always.
If you are in a position to create a job for someone else, that is a blessing.
Don’t take it for granted.
Have fun and always take every challenge as a learning experience.

THINGS TO REMEMBER AS A BUSINESS OWNER Read More »

EGO

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Ego.

Ego will make you forget your gift.
It will make you doubt if you even have one.
It will make you chase and covert for someone else’s portion.
Ego will make you place self-importance on yourself that doesn’t exist and get upset when no one else sees it.
Ego will make you lose your identity because you’ll be so busy trying to be someone you’re not.
It will depress you because you’ll end up unhappy in your skin.
Ego will make you chase after praise and adoration while you forget to praise and adore the One who made you.
Ego will feed you false confidence while serving you a buffet of insecurity.

Ego will make you want to quit the fight and then kick you once you’re down.
Ego will tell you that you’re not good enough while you’re doing what you’ve been called for.

It will harden your heart and build walls around you with bricks named;
“I don’t need help” “I can do it on my own” “I don’t need anyone else”

Ego will leave you lonely and isolated, with your nose turned up toward those who try to break down those very walls.

The ego is not your friend.
It’s the lie we tell ourselves when we look in the mirror and say,
“That’s just who I am”

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MAKING THE BEST OF THE TIME WE HAVE

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Death is so sudden. We never know when it’s going to visit us. Whether directly or indirectly.
I was watching a video of someone who had just lost a loved one and he said that it was so sudden, no one expected this person to die. He had spoken to this person just the day before and there was no indication of sickness whatsoever and now she was gone.

Even when we know someone is at the end of their life, whether by old age or illness, we can’t always accept that they are about to leave us. And once they do, that void left behind is so palpable, so tangible.

So many people are experiencing loss lately. I see it everywhere.

I work in news and I see death on a daily basis. At times, I feel a bit disensititized and then I have to remind myself, that someone has lost a loved one and that it could have easily been me in that situation.

It’s strange though, before I lost my mother in 2020, I didn’t understand death or its impact but now, it’s as if I can feel everyone’s pain, everyone’s grief because it reminds me of my own.

Isn’t funny though, how something like death can be the thread that connects us?

Life is short and death is sudden. I don’t think we realize that any day can be our last. We are busy making plans for tomorrow but don’t know if tomorrow is on our calendar.

We haven’t accepted it. Our human minds can’t comprehend it.

I was watching a show and one of the characters delivered the following line:

“All we can do is the best we can with the time that is given to us”

We’ve all heard the saying, ‘Live each day as if it’s your last’
but what if we lived each day as if it were our first?
Full of wonder and curiosity and joy, love and gratitude. Untainted by heartache, pain, loss, grief, anger, hate or unforgiveness.
But rather as if we’re experiencing the world for the very first time.
With a gentle approach, an open mind, and a receiving heart.

We don’t know when our last day on earth will be.
All we have is today. You can choose how you spend it.

There are many things I wish I could have said to my mother before she died and sadly, we only realize these things afterwards but we still have many other loved ones we can cherish and appreciate.

Don’t waste it. Be kind, loving gentle, and compassionate.
Be good.

Our behavior and actions are all we can control.

Death is out of our hands. How we live our life that has been gifted to us is all we have.

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