Yes, it’s been a while since I wrote something on this platform but something happened recently that really broke my heart.
My daughter is signed to an agency for adverts and the like and we recently attended a casting call for her to do an audition for an ad; she was so positive and excited on our way to the venue.
When we arrived, there were already a long line of young girls preparing for the audition. We signed the forms and sat down in the waiting room.
Then I noticed another young girl come in the waiting room; she had done her audition and she left with her mom. She was a beautiful girl, with long black curls and neatly dressed. I immediately saw my daughter’s face change. And then all of a sudden, she said to me “I don’t want to do the audition anymore” I asked her why and she just shook her head. Gently I insisted she tell me why she didn’t want to do it anymore and her words broke my heart.
“I don’t feel pretty”
Taking a step back and holding back my tears, I knew she had compared herself to the girl we saw a few minutes ago. I leaned forward and tried to encourage her; telling her she’s beautiful and she should do the audition and go in there with a positive attitude.
I’m not sure if it worked but she did the audition. When we were done; she told she didn’t want the role and then as we walked out; she told me how some of the other girls were not talking to her as they sat and waited and how she felt like an outsider being ignored. My child cried and I had to work really hard not to cry too and be her mother.
My heart was so hurt though; not only because she felt ignored by the other girls but because she is only 11 years old and already, she is struggling with self-esteem issues; feeling insecure and comparing herself to other girls.
She’s going through things that I don’t think little girls should be experiencing.
I spoke to her afterwards and tried my best to encourage her not to compare herself to others, that each girl is different and that we all come from different backgrounds. I wanted her to know that she is a beautiful, beautiful girl, inside and out.
Then I took a moment and realised; she must have picked up that insecurity from me. I am that person that compares myself and I struggle with insecurity; as I think most of us do; man or woman. She must have heard me a few times speak ill of myself or say something that indicated that I am not good enough for something and my mama heart is sore that she’s adopted that same thinking.
There’s nothing I want more for my children than being the best version of themselves. I want them to believe in who God created them to be; I want them to experience all the best in life and I want them to love who they are.
I’ve learned and I keep learning that our children do not do what we say. They do what we do. They may even start speaking the same as we do. The culture we create in our homes as parents has a direct impact on who our children become.
But I want to speak to moms especially; we are women before we are mothers and I’d like to gently encourage us to be kinder to ourselves as women. Our kids are watching us; whether they’re boys or girls; they are watching how we speak about ourselves, how we carry ourselves; how we deal with difficult situations and they learn from us through it all.
Be kind to yourself.
Be gentle with yourself.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
